Tuesday, July 27, 2010

CNN Money UX Fail

I'm sure many others hate the 1 per page lists that big news sites seem to push, forcing your reading experience into something that takes way too damn long, but this is just absolutely ridiculous:

The Media's Insatiable Hunger for RIM's Downfall

Why Everyone's Full of Shit and Should Just Shut Up Already About the Blackberry Failing

I find it ridiculous and incredibly annoying that there is a non-stop stream of articles being published by many top news sources (if you can believe that any truly exist anymore) about the death of Blackberry. I believe they've been releasing these for years now, or at least since I worked at RIM back in 2005. I remember thinking it was so weird to read the articles while working on the inside as they didn't seem to correlate with anything that was going on or actually happening within the company, it was like the authors were just making stuff up, or had a strong hate on for RIM, especially the Canadian press, who'd you'd think would support the country's giant!

What's the newest hubbub about? The United Arab Emirates doesn't think they are secure enough and are a security threat after failing to install shitty spy code that failed miserably? Boohoo, a 3rd world country with just under 7 million people, most of who make $1.20 an hour doesn't want Blackberry anymore, oh the lost business, oh the humanity! Sure Abu Dhabi has almost a million people and is really expensive, but still, what kind of business that relies on Blackberry is going to stand for the overpriced rent and then the loss of the use of their primary mobile communications tool (The one that the rest of the company globally will still be using)? I don't know if the UAE is threatening to just get rid of all Blackberries, or just what is used in the government, which would then be an inconsequential amount, but it's still overblown. Isn't that the country where women who get raped then get sent to jail because of it?

Anyways, enough ranting about the UAE, it's not going to be that significant a loss with all of the current expansion.

Here is what people don't seem to get:
Businesses already use Blackberry, and if you've ever worked in a big corporation, god help us if they decide to change a primary piece of technology that
  1. Everyone relies on
  2. Everyone already knows how to use
Many people will bitch and moan if they get their Blackberries taken away for even a day during a potential transition, despite how cool the iPhone looks. Getting a change that big in is huge and takes a long time and a lot of money to do, more so than makes it worth it. Perhaps the next wave of huge companies are starting today and using iPhones, but it's a little too hard to tell this early and will they outnumber the ones who still exist?

How many big companies do you know of that are still using IE6 for christ's sake? If they can't upgrade something that simple and vulnerable, how can they hope to get around to changing something a 1000 times more complex?

I'm pretty sure Blackberries are much cheaper in terms of data transfer due to the encryption you get, and not to mention that Blackberry is the most secure way to go, and there are people who are fanatical about having massive security in large corporations. Triple BES, word.

I can't speak for all corporations, but I'm sure many of them have most of the cool features people like locked out anyways. The policies are just too strong to ignore with Blackberry, do those exist within consumer oriented smartphones? Can you nuke your iPhone with one command from IT no matter where they are in the world?

The majority of people at huge companies are just too tech illiterate to know how to use new features of smart phones anyways (let alone their basic personal cell phones), even the training just on how to use the iphone would be monumental, not to mention the complaints of typing woes on a touchscreen.


Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Sure you COULD use them, and smaller companies surely do, but you are going to have to pry the BB's out of the masses' cold dead fingers before we start seeing iPhones inside huge organizations. There is no cost justification to make the switch, and everyone is already established.

RIM may very well end up sucking at the consumer/prosumer market, but I don't think they are ever going to lose businesses in the short term, they just have way better technology and solutions to offer. They surely aren't going to go under. Journalists don't get this because they don't generally live in the environments where Blackberries thrive. They focus on the cool, on the masses, and on the hype, most of which is their own.

New York Times recently writes that RIM may be dying because 80% of the Fortune 100 is testing and deploying iPhones. What does that even mean? It probably means they are testing them because someone thought they were cool and wants to see if it's viable, but it doesn't mean they've switched or are going to. More than likely some guy high up in IT wanted a cool toy and Apple said here's a bunch for free, please test them (...so we can come up with good stats)!

Even if 80% of the Fortune 100 switches, there are more than 100 companies out there, and some have lots of employees! And having less apps? What does that have to do with anything related to a business using a Blackberry? if they need something specific they can buy or write it, 90% of the apps out there would be useless or disabled on the devices anyway! Talk about an e-peen competition when it doesn't even matter.

It just seems that there are some fundamental things that the Blackberry has going for it that the consumer/prosumer would never think about or care about, meaning they get overlooked by many people and writers, and those little things are really the deal breakers in large companies.

I want RIM to succeed, I want them to continue to bring in revenue for Canada, and I also want to see Apple crushed. I'd love to see Google do some nifty stuff too as I like them, but what they stand for doesn't exactly jive with big companies who are overly secretive to the point where they are too afraid to even use cloud services for non-confidential data.

Argue on the important points and I'll listen, but argue on the features of apples in a market that only cares about oranges is a fools game.

Ok, so lets assume for a second that everything I've spewed so far is mostly just unresearched bullshit and that Google and iPhone are both viable and have a similar or as good feature set that companies base their decisions on.

It still comes down to this: what do these other offerings provide that justifies the massive cost and disruption of re-evaluating, tearing out, integrating, training, and supporting these new phones? Make no mistake that this will be a humongous cost with lots of hurdles to jump through with unexpected difficulties. Are they going to win on cost advantage and what's the time frame for a return on investment? These new phones are not tried, tested and true, they aren't as trust worthy as the RIM brand, whether or not they are technically superior. I just can't imagine anyone in the corporate world being able to sell the benefits of this cost. It may seem small or stupid just to change over some phones, but nothing is small when it comes to big corp, everything takes months and years and way too many PMs. What about the contracts and licenses already paid for? Vendor relations?

So...am I completely full of shit too? Probably, but from my experiences it just doesn't seem to add up. Most of us reading this live in a bubble. We all have our own lens of perception, but it really comes down to money and risk, and in the backwards mixed up world of big corporations, that's all that truly seems to matter.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Twitter: The Slowest Biggest Startup Ever

For something so high tech and new, not to mention game changing, looking at Twitter's system updates is like looking into the lens of the past. It's like when big companies finally decide to use social media, but they are 2 years behind and just doing it because everyone else is. It just feels so weird, like what planet are they on, we've had this stuff forever and you are just rolling it out now...and to the website?! Who the HELL even uses the website? It's like using IE 6 to surf the internet, sure it can be done, but it's hella-inefficient and there are no tabs!

Yeah I know they are taking it slow to the party and then annoyingly eating up all the competition, killing businesses that capitalized on their slowness, but it seriously seems like they move at the speed of a company 100 times their size. I guess when you build a crappy platform that doesn't scale, you don't have much time to deal with everything else, and if you already have tons of money with no competition you don't really need to innovate either. Kind of reminds me of a number of big local companies...

Anyways, just wanted to point out the observation of how backwards they seem to what you might think without thinking. And yeah I know most people don't use some sort of Twitter Client...But man are they missing out!

Wikipedia: The Worlds Best Example of a Hypocrisy!

Trying to contribute to Wikipedia is like fighting a forever losing battle, incredibly frustrating and eventually not worth doing anymore.

This post is inspired by Brydon's current frustrations with Wikipedia.

You try to do things for seemingly valid reasons, enough so that you are actually inspired and motivated to actually get off your ass (not literally though) and do something about it, which is a stage most people never get to, and then after all that effort and gusto you smack flat into a brick wall. You have no dynamite, pickaxes, ladders, or shovels. You can only just keep running into the wall until you finally get tired of it and your face hurts too much. You turn around and shout FUCK IT, and you walk back down to the couch to grumble. I've heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome, well that my friends is contributing to Wikipedia.

Insanity is facing a wall of limitless fucktards who's only goal in life is to curate and stonewall everything you deem important out of the history books. And they don't do it for money, oh no, they do it for something far more compelling and powerful, their own sense of pride and accomplishment, their beliefs and ego, as well as their sense of justice.

You can never escape them and there are just too many to avoid detection. Sooner or later (but most likely instantly), your post will be removed, your additions edited away, and half the time they just write robots that assume everything you do is fake or from a bad IP and remove your shit anyways!

Wikipedia reminds me of that episode of South Park (#100) where Cartman explains that America is a country founded on the basis of saying on thing and doing another, a living hypocrisy. He says it's called eating your cake and having it too.

This is Wikipedia. It's open and free for the world to use! Anyone (yes even you, lowly scum) can go in and edit and add pages! TV shows make fun of how easy it is to change when people rely on it, scholars get mad at how the information is always false, but nobody can really change anything, save the select few who live off of the newscasts and research papers published. They own content, they own random subjects, and their life is making sure those pieces of virtual property doesn't get messed up! Nothing goes through without their approval, they are the landlord that doesn't have a life except to make yours miserable.

This is Wikipedia.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Rogers Continues to Prove They Are Major Dick Punchers

Hey Everybody, Netflix is coming to Canada!

Next Day:
Rogers lowers download limit!

Exec 1: Let's cash in guys and fuck everyone over some more!

Exec 2: Yes Lets! That's the ROGERS way!

Exec 3: Here Here! A Toast!

(board commences drinking martinis made of baby's blood and consumer tears)

Exec 4: Haha the best thing is that nobody will even notice because we are doing it so early! Man we are so fucking smart (siiiiipppppp)...so fucking smart...

Friday, July 16, 2010

If it sounds like BS...

For those of you who skipped that 4 Hour Work Week book because it sounded to full of BS to be worth reading, you'd find this amusing :)